Bad Excuses
by Mi-moon
Summary: When you're in need of an excuse, you should at least make sure you have better excuses than America and England. Follow the two of them in their journey down their path of bad excuses and learn which excuses not to use.
1. Airport

Sooo! I'm back with another of my awesome stories, huh! This one ig going to be multy chapter, although I might be slow with the updates.

This is based of a Swedish book called "Lilla boken med Dåliga Ursäkter."(The small book with Bad Excuses) and it's a book about all those silly excuses people make up for various reasons. Every chapter will be about different excuses for different things.

Anyway!

_**I hope You'll Enjoy!**_

_**R&R!**_

Love you guys :D!  
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Bad Excuses

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_When you've forgotten someone at the airport, you schould have a better excuse than..._

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It was the day before the conference at Englands place, and America, as usual, had come to stay the night with England. It was evening and the sun had long ago set, leaving the country in the darkness of the night. England and Ameica had made their way to the livingroom where they were currently relaxing. And by relaxing, I meant bickering. And by bickering, I mean screaming and insulting each other to no end. Though the screaming was mostly on Englands behalf.

"Sod off, you git!" England roared, standing infront of the red, comfy couch America was curently occupying. America only laughed at him, wrapping the blanket he had stolen closer around him.

"Aw, but England! Don't be angry." He laughed as the huge caterpillars on Englands forehead decided it was time for a meeting. "You'll get wrinkles!" He pointed out hapilly. England growled at him, telling him that if he didn't move over, he would sleep outside. "Pssh, you're no fun." America said, but moved over so that England could sit down anyway, scowl never leaving his face. Let's just simply say that it wasn't one of Englands' hobbies to be kicked down from his own couch and have his blanket stolen by a very rude American.

The sight of the two of them bickering like this wasn't unusual. Not at all. Englands livingroom was a very comfy and homely place with all its' furnitures made of fine wood. Mighty bookcases were lined against a wall, filled with books about historical events and small decorations, such as a small dragon sculpture from China and a small ship in a bottle, giving the bookcases a very personal look. On the walls hung paintings of fields and seas, each one of them reflecting eras in England. Two paintings America actually liked were one that was of a green lovely field and some men, probably nobles, dressed in very fine red coats on white horses. A lone fox stood before the men, it's red-orange fur shining brightly on the painting. The other painting America was fond of was one of a small boy standing on a sidewalk, the people passing him being a small blurr of darkness in the background. On the floor in the livingroom, a wide old carpet lay gracefully, making the livingroom a little more charming along with the curtains phraming the giant window on the wall opposite of the door. It was all in all a very grand room. The wooden furnitures were old, but that just added to the charm. Infront of the couch America and England were sitting on, there was, of course, a coffeetable and a magnificent fireplace made out of brickstones. And above the fireplace, there was a TV, much to Americas joy.

"Give back my blanket, you stupid wanker!" England growled at him and tugged on the blanket America had wrapped tightly around himself. America smiled sweetly at him.

"No way!" he chirped cheerfully. "I'm cold, old man. And this helps." England groaned at him and kept trying to wrestle it out of Americas grasp, failing miserably.

"Have the thought ever occurred to you that that might have been the reason I had the bloody blanket to begin with?" He asked the much too oblivious American beside him. America blinked at him.

"Actually…" He started."I don't really care that much about you." England flinched.

"Ouch…" he muttered. "At least share it you git!" America laughed at his outburst but gladly opened one of his arms and let England cuddle up against him under the warm blanket.

"Owh, you're pretty cold, Iggy." America laughed and England scowled. "Should've told me sooner, old man. I would've heroicly warmed you up, you know! … Or something!" he exclaimed, goofy grin plastered on his face. England simply rolled his eyes.

That's when the phone rang. Both nations stopped paying attention to each other and turned their gazes towards the door that led out to the hall. The old, deep signals kept coming in waves through the entrence and after a few signals England groaned and got up. Someone had to answer it, and it was his phone. He walked out into the hall and was about to lift the reciever when America shot past him and threw the earphone against his ear.

"Ye'llo! You've come to the United States of England, Scotland and northern Iceland, how can I, the hero, help you?" He more or less shouted into the phone. England almost fell over when he heard all the mistakes in that sentence, but he quickly got back up again.

"Oi!" He shouted, irritated. "That's just… _wrong _in so many ways! Now give me my bloody phone, you git!" He tried to take the phone from America, who laughed and simply moved the phone out of reach for the smaller male.

"Ahaha! Say please~!" He teased, smile never leaving his lips. Before England could snap at him, however, he handed the phone back to him and England pressed it against his ear.

"Stupid American…" He mumbled, glaring at America on his right. America only laughed and bounced around in the background.

"_Hello?_" A voice said on the other end, forcing England to switch his attention to the electric machine in his hand.

"O-oh! Hello. Sorry about that just now, uhm…" England apolegized as he tried to inch away from America who put his head next to Englands' to be able to hear the conversation as well. "Who is this?" England asked, giving up and letting America listen together with him.

"_I-it's me, Canada._" Came the soft reply. England and America exchanged confused glances.

"I'm sorry, but… Do I know you, sir?" England asked as kindly as he could, his confusion only shining through a little in his voice. At least he was happy America let him do the talking and kept quiet.

"_Yes! It's me! Ca-na-da!_" The person on the other end replyed.

"Oh!" America said in realization. "You're that maple guy, right?" He beamed into the phone, satesfied with himself for remembering.

"Oh!" England said, also in realization. "Canada! Oh, I'm sorry! Of course it's you, how are you this splendid evening?" He asked politely, ignoring the look America gave him.

"_I-I'm fine, thank you for asking…_" Canada mekly responded. "_There is one thing, though…"_ America cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"Is something bothering you? Are you in trouble? Do you want me to come save you like the hero I am? You know you can tell me what's wrong, bro! Speak to me! Tell me where you are and I will come for you!" He shouted into the phone and Englands poor ear, his over protective side kicking in when his brother mentioned there was something going on. England smacked America in the head and pushed him away before returning to the phone.

"_T-that's kind of the problem…_" Canada said as America, whining, made his way back to Englands side. After hearing this, however, he snatched the phone and pushed England out of the way.

"What's wrong bro? Tell me! I will come save you! Where are you?" He shouted into the phone as England glowered at him from the floor. It was a wonder Canada hadn't gone deaf by then.

"_U-uhm, I-I'm on the airport here in England, actually…"_ Canada stuttered to his younger (Yes, younger) brother over the phone. America raised his eyebrows in surprice.

"What'd he say?" England asked from his sitting spot on the floor. America looked down at him, confusion written all over his face.

"He says he's on some airport in some weird place called ''England'' or something…" He said and scratched his head.

"_This is_ England, you git!" England snapped at his former colony. "I am England! How dare you-!" Then he thought about what America had said... He had said that Canada was on an airport… in England… His eyes widened in realization. _Fuck._

"Shit!" He hissed to America and flew up onto his feet. "We were supposed to pick him up on the airport at 9! I totally forgott!" America stared at him.

"No shit… _Seriously_? Damn… I guess I also completely let it slip my mind, dude…" He said confused. England stared at him in panick.

"How much is it?" He asked and America threw a glance at the old wooden clock behind him.

"Uhm… 11?" That meant Canada had waited for a good two hours for them to come pick him up. England paled. He felt rather useless and very ungentleman at the moment.

"_H-hello? Can you please tell me what's going on?_" Canadas voice echoed through the phone, reminding them that he was still there. America and England shoot eachother panicked looks. Both knowing they had to think of something… and fast! A long pause ensued where in both nations tried to communicate with each other in their heads, urging the other to be the one to make up an excuse for their mistake. When they got nothing they both started rambling into the phone.

"I'm afraid of flying!" England bursted into the phone, he couldn't believe he was trying to lie to Canada, and now that he thought about it, that excuse was just super silly. America gave him a weird look. Oh, well. So he noticed it was a lame excuse as well then.

"Don't listen to him, Canada, uhm… But it's weird though!" America nervously tried to cover up for England who only shot him a dark glare for being stupid-stamped. What did you expect? Of course the excuse hadn't been good! He was panicking! Anyway, back to America.

"It's weird, because I sent a friend to pick you up instead, you see, we were… uhm… busy." Americas excuse sounded decent. So far, so good? "He drives around in one of those cars that's called Cabs. Didn't you see him?" So far, _not good_. England smacked the stupid nation in the back of his head.

"_What kind of an excuse __was that__, you stupid git?" _He hissed in Americas ear. America only gave him a glare as he rubbed the now sore spot on his head.

"_Like yours' was any better!"_ He hissed back. England snorted and shook his head.

"_Never mind! Make up something else!_" America went back to thinking of something that would sound believeable to his Canadian friend as England tried again.

"Uhm, actually, Canada, I…" You could hear the wheels turn inside his head. "I strayed in on the long-term parking and got lost." Uuh… Okay, that didn't sound any better. America didn't seem to think so either, because he made up another excuse.

"I followed the airbus towards the airport, but it drove the wrong way!" England gave him a weird look.

"I felt bad about… my carbon emissions." Even thought England said it and it was supposed to sound convincing, it sounded more like a question than anything.

"I parked on the runway so that you wouldn't have to go through the terminal but then the cops took me _and_ my car into custody!" America shouted into the phone. "Can you _believe_ those brits?" He got jabbed in the arm for the last part of that sentence and a hard look from the former empire. England snatched the phone away from America, ignoring Canadas stuttering at the other end.

"Didn't you say once that you wanted to feel more independent?" He asked.

"_Yes, but…"_ Canade stuttered on the other line. "_You forgott I was arriving today at Luton…?_" America faked a sheepy expression.

"Whoups… Was the pilote strike over already?" He asked aloud, trying to sound innocent and trustworthy, but he failed miserably. His excuse was unfitting and random coming so late in the conversation. An excuse like that should've been brought up in the beginning in a conversation for it to even work. Giving up on trying to get America to help him, England tried to cover up for their already made damage.

"Luton? You didn't mention that. I looked all over for you on Stansted." He actually felt a smile make it's way onto his lips after the excuse left his lips. Yes! That one was a smart one! It even sounded truthfull to Englands ears, and hopefully to Canada as well.

"Don't tell me you bought that joke about us picking you up on the airport." America said, ruining Englands excuse before that. America made it sound as if they were just screwing with him! Which they weren't! They were trying to make up an excuse damn it! And the crap America spouted wasn't even close to even being considered excuses! Oh, England loathed his former colony now.

"…" Canada said nothing on the other end as the two nations ran out of excuses to use. England punched America on the shoulder again, causing him to wince in pain. They glared at eachother and England was about to scold him when Canadas voice drifted up from the phone between them.

"_Wow, guys. Those must be the lamest excuses ever."_ It sounded as if he snorted at them. "_Next time, just be honest and say you forgot, eh?_" England and America felt their faces heat up in emberassment, both feeling ashamed about being lectured by the proud Canadian.

"S-sorry…" They both mumbled.

"W-we could come pick you up now, you know…" England started, politelly offering their service to go get him, now that the ackward excuse conversation was over. On the other end Canada scoffed.

"_You know what? I don't think so. I'm going to jump on a train to Papa instead. Aurevoir! Stupid fuckers…"_ He mumbled the last part before a click was heard and the tones rung out through the phone in Englands hand. For some reason England got shivvers at the thought of Canada being pissed off at them. Who knew? It might last for months.

At least they both knew that whenever you've forgotten to pick someone up at the airport, you should not use any of the excues above. Seriously, they're just silly.

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What did you think? :D

**Luton** and **Stansted** are two airports in England, if you didn't know... I'm really looking forwards to write these silly excuses England and America are bound to make up when they're in trouble, haha! And I hope you're looking forwards to it as well!

First chapter done, some to go! PLEASE REVIEW! I might update it faster then :D

_**Owari...**_


	2. Valid ticket

_**Hi guys! :D  
**_So I'm back with another chapter including England and America and their sorry excuses for excuses. (haha! get it...?) Although, this is mostly a bonus chapter, being shorter than the original story chapters and not including excuses for, you know, real things. huh. AND ALSO! England's on his own in this one, so, yeah... no America, sorry!

_**R&R  
& **MOST IMPORTANTLY!**  
ENJOY~!**_

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_**Without valid ticket...**_

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Arthur was in a pinch. So, he had gone into the subway on his way back from the world meeting here in Washington DC, and had jumped onto a train. He had been in a hurry, because the train had been departing, so he had dashed onto it without hesitation. Now there's where his problam lay.

He had jumped onto the train.

But he had forgotten to buy a ticket.

Now the conductor stood infront of him and waited.

How was he supposed to solve this?

His mind quickly worked its' magic, searching for a decent enough excuse he could use.

"May I see your ticket, sir?" The conductor asked, his bored eyes looking Arthur over. He asked a hundred people this question everyday, and normally Arthur would've just flashed his ticket and then go on with his life. Only that he didn't have a ticket. And soon he probably wouldn't have a life either, judging by the way the conductor started to look irritated.

"U-uhm…" Arthur stuttered. He tried to remember the excuses Alfred would brag about when he came into meetings that he had used whenever he hadn't had a valid ticket.

They usually went along these lines:

"_I got robbed in school of both my schoolcard and my report._" Okay… Maybe it had worked once, or twice for Alfred, but! But he was young. (Or at least he looked young…) So it couldn't be that hard to trick people into thinking he was in highschool or collage. But Arthur, on the other hand, looked very mature, not old, thank you, so that excuse would certainly not work for him.

You know what? He wasn't even going to try remembering all those silly excuses; he was going to make up his own. His mind worked quickly and he soon had a few excuses up his sleeve. But he could also imagine how things would turn out if he used them.

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"_I was going to pay the whole trip on my way back. I thought that was how the system worked." The conductor didn't look impressed at all._

"_Well, it doesn't, so now that you know that, you can jump off and buy a ticket and then board another ride."_

_ And Arthur was thrown off the train._

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_

"_I forgot my commutation ticket on my work and I've forgotten the number to my work." Arthur laughed ackwardly under the disbeliefing stare from the conductor. _

_And Arthur was thrown off the train._

_

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_

"_I'm from Humblaya and over there we don't even have any local traffic." Arthur lied. Well, it could have worked, if the conductor hadn't answered like this:_

"_Really? Me too!" And then he started talking Humblayan with Arthur who just strained a smile._

_

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_

"_I've got my ticket in my car that's broken. Now I'm on my way to another car to be able to fix my broken car." Well… at least it sounded good in his brain. _

_And Arthur danced off the train._

_

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_

"_Look at this! I've got money right here. That proves that I was going to buy a ticket, but then I met a friend when I got on and when he got off I was so sure that I'd already payed." Arthur said, shoving his money up the conductors nose. It was a decent enough excuse and it would've worked, if his money hadn't been in pound. _

_Arthur skipped on clouds out from the train._

_

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_

"_The dog just ate my wallet and the dog escaped." _

_Arthur rolled off the train._

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_

"_I newly moved here so I haven't been warned of the controls." The conductor glared at him._

_ And Arthur skipped out the train, laughing and throwing flowers everywhere._

_

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_

"_I write novels and must explore how it feels to be a stowaway, how it feels to do this." _

_The conductor threw him off the train._

_

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_

...

You know what? On the other hand, telling the truth actually is good enough.

Arthur scratched his head and gave an apolegetic smile.

"Ah, I actually forgott, sir. I'm deeply sorry. I was in a hurry and I saw the train departing, so I never got the chance to buy one. Terribly sorry, really." The conductor looked him up and down, an understanding look in his eyes. He then shot Arthur a smile, and Arthurs hopes about being forgiven rose.

And Arthur was thrown off the train.

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Yeah... Well, I said it was shorter, haha. (You really should read the Author Notes...)

This wasn't really a real chapter, more like a bonus. I'm already writing chapter 3, so I hope it won't take long until it's done.

**Reviews make the world go round!  
**_Seriously, it made me update. I felt bad when I realized I've left you hanging for awhile, haha!_

_**HOPE YOU ENJOYED~! :D**_

**_Owari..._**


	3. Birthday

**Hi guys!**

I'm back once again with a new chapter full of bad excuses! I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been busy with school and everything that's been going on lately so i haven't gotten around to write anyhing lately. I started on this chapter, like, ages ago, but I didn't seem to find a flow in it (Because sometimes it takes time before the story comes automaticly to you) and I first got around to finish this today when my guilty feelings for delaying the chapter overtook me xDD

Anyway! I hope you haven't gotten tired of this yet, becaue there's a lot more to come, and I hope you won't get bored with this chapter, because if I'm honest... I'm not that happy with it, oh well.

_**R&R**_

_**ENJOY~ :D**_

_**

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**_When you've forgotten someones birthday, you should have a better excuse than..._**

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America stood outside Englands huge mansion (yes, mansion. Because it was way bigger than a normal house) and stared at the door. Of course he was going to knock, or just burst in, but not just yet. It was in the middle of the night and America noted Englands country was rather calm at this hour, considering the date and all. It wasn't raining, which was quite a surprice to America, but now that he thought about it, of course it didn't rain _all_ the time at the old mans place. Just _almost_ all the time. So anyway, America was unused to the comfortable calm laying over the country. At Americas place, it was full of life, especially this day. Yeah, this 'dreaded day', according to England.

Yup, you guessed it. It was the fourth of July. Alfreds' birthday, and Americas independence day.

And Englands avvoid-America-to-any-cost day.

Every year, this day, England would skillfully avvoid and deny Americas exsistence itself.  
Every year, this day, America would try to convince Arthur into going on his birthday party, give him a present, spend time with him, or even wish him a happy birthday!  
Every year, this day, England would allways have an excuse for not being able to come to his party, give him a present, spend time with him, and he would never ever wish Alfred a happy birthday.

So every year, this day, America would go to Englands place and confront him for forgetting his birthday.

And every year, this day, England would make up an excellent excuse to save his sorry little butt.

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He remembered one time he visited England on the day after his birthday. He had been slightly younger and it had been a beautiful day. He had skipped to Englands mansion, broad smile on his face while humming a song deep in his troath. The birds had been singing along with him all the way to the entrance and the flowers in Englands garden waved at him when he pressed the doorbell. England opened the door, shooting him a dark glare when he realized whom was standing on his doorstep.

"Yo, England! How's it hanging this beautiful day?" America beamed and saluted towards his old mentor. Englands look darkened.

"More like 'this awful day' now that you're here, America. And the only thing that's hanging is probably you in a second or two if you don't bugger off and leave me the fuck alone. After all, you're good at leaving people, aren't you?" America was struck by Englands harsh words and staggered a little.

"Ouch, man! That hurt. You shouldn't be so mean to me, England, considering it was my birthday yesterday and-"

"That's why, you moron! And I was serious about hanging you if you don't fuck off." England interuppted him. America pouted and England scowled.

"Well… you shouldn't be pissy about it at least…" America crossed his arms and studied Englands stairs between his feet. England growled, visibly getting more and more frustrated with him.

"Why shouldn't I be pissy when the person I cared for most in the whole world decided to abandon me and shove my face into the mud before walking straight over me, _completely uncaring_ of that I might had feelings too, like any other human being, and that it might wound me when this person tells me that he would do_ anything_ just so he could get rid off me, be 'free' from me. Why shouldn't I be pissy that the person I loved the most took my love and threw it right back at me, selfishly declaring that he didn't _want_ or _needed_ it! And that every year this person would celebrate the day he crushed me and shove my loss into my face! Why, America, tell me why I _shouldn't_ be pissy on this dreadfull day!" After his long speech England was out of breath and his cheeks had grown red in anger. America just stared at him with open mouth. After a few akwards seconds America shook his head to get out of whatever daze England had put him in.

"Nothing of that matters anymore, England! I came back, didn't I? Isn't that what counts?" America desperately asked the older nation.

"What counts is that you left in the first place…" England mumbled and glared at his rosebushes beside his door. Beautiful Britain was the name of the rose. Haha. America sighed tiredly.

"We've been through this before, England." He said and shook his head. "I didn't come here to fight or argue with you, so just… stop, okay? I came here to ask you why you didn't show up on my birthday party yesterday. I know I posted you an invetetion, so why weren't you there? I mean, if you didn't want to come, fine, but you could've at least sent me a _card _or something." Blue locked with green and they stared at each other. America noticed how Englands eyes shifted from upset and irritated to hollow and cold, although a spark of anger was still hidden in the forest green orbs.

"I forgot." Was his uncaring answer as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. America fixed his stare.

"Forgot…?" The disbelief shone through clearly in his voice, but he didn't care. England sighed experatedly, holding back the urge to roll his eyes.

"More like: I didn't find a card in the store that said 'I'm sorry that I wont give a crap about you birthday.'" America didn't know if he was shocked, hurt or offended, either way he was just left standing on Englands doorstep, gaping like the idiot he was.

"There you have it. Now if you don't mind, I'll go back to my tea. Good day." And with that, England slammed the door in his face.

* * *

That had probably been the most emotional visit America had given England while searching for an excuse as to why the Brit always "forgott" his birthday.

The coming years after that, the '_Oups, I forgott your birthday_' excuses became more like an irritating teasing between the two nations. America settled for acting all uncaring about the whole forgetting thing, but in reality he was greatly offended and maybe a little bit hurt by Englands actions.

* * *

One time, he had tried cooing England with his childish stubborness and puppy eyes to attend his party, but sadly it hadn't worked as well as he had hoped…

"Engwand~!" America wailed with a child-like voice, giving England the manipulating look only children could bear. England looked at him with a confused frown.

"Engwand~" The pouting American repeated as he clung to the Englishmans waist, refusing to let go even though England clearly dissaproved of the whole situation. "Don't leave me, Engwand! Not until you told me why you didn't show up on my birfday~" England promtly ignored him and all the looks the other nations shot them.

He just wanted to go back to his house and moop over his miserable life, he had only gone to the world meeting because he had to… and maybe because his brothers had threatened him that if he didn't they would break his beloved tea set, but whatever.

"Let go, git. I'm not in the mood, if you haven't _noticed_." England said emptily, not holding back the distaste in his voice as he spoke. Americas pout deepened and he clung tighter to England.

"Engwand! Seriously! Why didn't you show up? I invited you and everything! You wound me~! What's your excuse for not coming?" England growled and finally succeded in struggling out of the iron hold the superpower had on him. America tried to grab him again but England pinched his nose, hindering him from doing it.

"I am sorry, but as childish as you are, I didn't think you got older." America whined and pulled back, covering his nose with his hand and protecing it from further abuse, but he was smiling nontheless.

"Aw, thanks old man! I know I'm still handsomely young!" England sputtered and stomped his feet into the ground, acting rather childish himself.

"It wasn't a compliment git!" And with that he stormed out of the building, not noticing the sad look America gave him as he left.

* * *

Another time England had decided to ignore the awesome that was Americas birthday, America once again decided to confront him for it. He knew that year had been rather busy for England, and that it was quite possible that he actually _had_ forgotten about his birthday. The way England looked when he opened the door was proof that his theory might not be so far off this time.

"Coming!" America could hear England shuffle with some papers before stumbling down the corridor to open the door. When he flung the door open America noted that his hair was wilder than usual, a sign of stress, and the confused look England gave him when he saw him on his doorstep proved his theory to be correct.

"America? What brings you here?" America smiled nervously. There was no way England had seriously forgotten his birthday, _was there?_ Nah, he was being silly.

"Yo, Iggy! Uhm… I was just wondering why you didn't show up on my birthday… _again…_" he mumbled the last part, and England didn't seem to hear it. England just raised one of his perfectly fat eyebrows questionly at him.

"Your birthday?" He asked, the irritation clear in his voice. "Ah… I guess I forgot about it… You see, I bought my calendar on sale so it's missing a few weeks here and there…" America pouted. Again with the excuses… Sometimes he just wanted to punch that face and throw him into a ditch somewhere and-! Instead he smiled, pretending to fall for the excuse.

"Oh, okay! That's cool then, man. I just wondered, you know. So…" He nudged England jokingly in the arm. "Where's my present?" England didn't think it was funny and just gave him a weird look before shutting the door tightly. America heard how he locked the door right after it closed and couldn't help but to feel left out.

* * *

Ring, ring…

Click.

"_Hello!_ _This is England speaking. Who is this?"_

"Okay, England! No more silly excuses! I got tired on them ages ago! Why didn't you show up on my birthday this year, and why _for the love of gods_ won't you buy me a present?"

"…"

"Oh, now you're going all silent on my butt, huh? Come on! Speak up! Why didn't you do something for my birthday!"

"…_America?"_

"Yes, that's me. Geez, don't tell me you've gotten all senile now."

"_No need to get bratty with me, git! It's just… A-are you serious?"_

"… About what, old man?"

" _No, I mean… Did the limo that was supposed to take you to the airport never arrive?"_

"… Huh? Iggy, what are you talking about? There was no li-"

"_I had arranged for a luxury private jet and a two-weeks vecation on a tropical paradise island! All my savings were used up!"_

"… Aw… Really, Iggy?"

"… _No."_

And he hung up on America.

"… Son of a-!"

* * *

"England!" _Oh no… Ignore him, England, you can do it._

"England!" _That's right, keep walking and pretend he doesn't excist._

"…" _Hooray! He gave up!_

"England, England, England, England, England, England, England, England, England-!"

"_WHAT?_" America smirked triumphantly when the Briton gave up trying to escape him and turned to face him with a glare instead.

"Heh, you turned towards me…" England realized his mistake and tried to start walking again but America wouldn't let him.

"Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no! Don't you dare walk away on me again, mr!" America said, grabbing Englands arm, preventing him from leaving. England gave an irritated sigh but stopped struggling.

"Really, America, I swear you're getting more and more annoying as you grow. Why won't you leave me alone? Don't you get the vibes? I don't want to talk with you!" America grinned, obvious to Englands insults, or maybe he just decided to ignore them.

"Yeah… Speaking of getting older…" They started walking together down the corridor, matching their steps as they did. "Why didn't you show up on my birthday last week?" England visibly stiffened at the question.

"Why would I…"

"And don't give me all that sentimental crap, England. We're_ way_ beyond that by now." England crossed his arms, a sour look making itself comfortable on his features. When he didn't answer America eyed him from the side. "… Come on. I'm waiting here." England only tightened his lips in a firm line, refusing to answer Americas question. America scowled.

England was surprised when America shoved him rather forcefully into a wall and he bit back a whine when he felt his back colide with the hard surface. America wore a cold look on his face and he looked clearly pissed off. England swallowed but didn't back down and only glared right back at the younger country.

"Speak." It was a command. "Or I _will_ hurt you." England paled. He don't know why he took Americas words seriously, but he did and they frightened him.

"U-uhm…" He stuttered, smiling nervously. America waited paitiantly, keeping England firmly in place with his back against the wall.

"Well?"

"I'm alergic to cake." England said, furrowing his brows and hoding a finger in the air to strenghten his statement. America was knocked out of his threatening aura and stared dumbfounded at his former mentor.

"Alergic to…?" He repeated confused. England took this opportunity to push America away from him and dust himself off.

"Yes. Cake. Now if you excuse me I have a flight to catch." He started walking down the corridor, leaving America to ponder about his sentence alone.

"But, hey…" America massaged his chin as the wheels slowly turned in his head. "What about that time on France's birthday?" He could clearly remember England eating cake then.

And England ran away.

America stared irritated after him.

"Hey!" He shouted, cursing himself for being so easy to trick.

* * *

America stomped straight into Englands office and slammed his hands down on the smaller males table. England didn't seem to be surprised to see him, and he didn't jump at the loud slam America caused. He just stared at his papers that floated to the ground after the impact, a frown appearing on his face.

"Okay, seriously England. I'm tired of this." And America really was. Every year he would get just as disappointed when England didn't show up on his birthday and every year he would go to confront his friend about it, and he was tired of it. He was tired of England excusing himself, giving bad reasons as to why he didn't show up or call or send him a present every time he asked why he didn't show up. England calmly looked into his eyes, mildly concered about his paperwork on the floor.

"Why didn't you come this year?" England tilted his head to the side, giving him a questioning look.

"_To my birthday_." America forced the sentence out between his gritted teeth. England looked surprised by his question.

"I didn't think you had a birthday this year since it's leap year." He said truthfully.

And America banged his head onto the table, groaning miserably.

* * *

Knock, knock.

"If it's you again, _frog_, I'm going to remind you that I _really don't_ want to have se- Oh." England stopped his angry ramble when he saw that it wasn't France standing on his doorstep, but an equally annoying blue eyed blonde instead. "It's you."

"It's me!" America beamed. He eyed England up and down, sweatdropping at the older nations clothes. England was in one of his rebelious phrases again, his citicens being upset about one of his elections, thinking that it had been trigged or something. America didn't watch the European news anyway… England was wearing black jeans with a nice black belt along with them and a pair of black Converse covered his feet. He wore one of the sex pistols T-shirts and over it, a big colorfull hoodie. Chains hung around his waist and around his neck and his hair was worse than usually, giving him the rebelious look his citicens forced him into.

"And what do you want, you bloody douchebag?" America wavered. He always forgott how harsh Englands' vocabulary got when he was pissed.

"Uhm, I was just wondering, _again_, why you decided to ignore my birthday, _again._" England smacked his tounge, looking irritated.

"It's so mainstream to celebrate birthdays. If you actually had an eye open, you would've known that it's only second and third name days that are worth of celebration." America blinked, confused.

"Wait, what?" England just snorted and slammed the door in his face.

* * *

Another year, another time, and once again England had "forgotten" about Americas' birthday, but America was patient and determined to know why, so he didn't give up and only continued to persue England about it.

"England!" America shouted after seeing his ally walk in the same park as himself and taking the opportunity to talk to him. England turned around, looking irritated when he saw who had called his name. America jogged up to his former charge, smiling stupidly.

"Hello, America." England said bitterly and started walking again. America hapilly walked alongside him under the magnificent trees.

"Hello to you too, grumpy pants." He greeted and England snorted and rolled his eyes. "So listen, like, my XXXth birthday was just like the other week, why didn't you show up? I tried to call you like a _million_ times, but I guess you forgot your phone somewhere and couldn't pick up." America decided to take it easy, letting the conversation flow natrually. England rolled his eyes again at Americas obviousity.

"I _won't_ celebrate your birthday, America. I thought you would get the hint ages ago, really." America laughed and hit Englands shoulder, rather hard, mind you, so that England toppled a few steps before regaining his balance.

"No, really. Why won't you celebrate my birthday?" America asked with a cold smile, immitating Russia perfectly. England sighed and shook his head.

"I won't celebrate your birthday since you refuse to aknowledge that you're not young anymore." America frowned.

"That's not true. I'm younger than you guys! I'm definitely still young! I'm still… I'm not that old, at least… I'm not…" England nodded solemly.

"Keep telling yourself that, honey…"

And America went into a deppression that Canada had to spend 6 months dooting him to make him return to his usual cheerfull self.

* * *

Another year passed and America stood outside Englands all too familiar door to confront said nation again. Said nation stood infront of him, arms crossed and a tired look on his face. Simply put, England looked like shit. America guessed he was hangover and he was pretty sure he was right.

"Let me guess…" England interrupted him before he could even say anything. "It's about that whole 'why'd you miss my birthday'-shit again, isn't it?" America stubbornly nodded, imetating Englands posture. England sighed, an irritated look over his face.

"Listen… You don't celebrate my birthday-" America almost asked: You have a birthday? But stopped himself just in time. "- So why would I celebrate yours?" America rubbed neck with one of his hands.

"Well… As old as you are, I thought you had stopped celebrating your birthday ages ago…" He pondered aloud.

He realized too late that this was the wrong thing to say to hangover-England and the door was slammed in his face just after England angrily had stomped the hardest he could on his foot.

* * *

So there he was again, another year, this day, outside Englands' mansion, waiting for him to answer his door. America sighed and shook his head at the memories of his failed attempts to force England to attend his birthday party. They really had to work on their relationship. He knocked on the door, listening to Englands footsteps on the other side of the wood.

"Hello?" England opened the door too suddenly and America wasn't prepeared. Wasn't prepeared as in stood-so-close-to-the-door-so-that-it-hit-him-in-the-face. "Oh my lord!" England said as he laid eyes on the now hurt American. "America! Are you quite alright?" He worridly asked as he helped the cursing nation to stand up again. America just nodded, shaking England off of himself.

"I'm fine, I'm _fine_, damnit!" He said rudely. England frowned but stepped away from America as he rubbed his forehead, cursing the man that invented the doors. When he was done, an akward silence stretched between the two.

"Why are you here again?" England asked and America piped up.

"Yeah, well, you see… I just wanted to talk to you, you know, and get things clear once and for all as of why you refused to celebrate my birthday this year again." America said sheepishly. England gave him a 'are you serious?' look. "…Well?" England sighed irritated and took a step back into his house.

"That's nothing to celebrate. All you've succeded with is to not die." America gaped in disbelief.

"But-!" He started but England only had to raise finger to quiet him, giving him a stern look.

"Say no more, America. It'll only result in things getting worse than they already are. I'll guess I'll see you… at the next meeting at Canadas place then?" All America could do was nodd and watch Enland close the door in his face, again.

He gave up. England was never ever going to come to his birthday, let alone celebrate him or congratulate him. Not ever. He sighed and bit his lip to hinder tears from falling from his eyes as he turned around and gave Englands' mansion one last look before walking down the street.

* * *

**One year later.**

* * *

Knock, knock.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" America shouted irritated as he pressed the pause button on the game console and put it down with an irritated sigh.

"Geez, who the hell comes here the day after my birthday? Don't the bastard have a big enough hangover as it is…?" He angrily stomped towards the door, flunging it open, ready to shout at the person for disturbing him on his relax-after-birthday-party-day. What he didn't expect was for England to stand on his doorstep looking througly irritated and glaring at him. He just gaped, finding himself at a loss of words.

"E-England?" He succeded with choking on the words that left his lips. England only nodded and pushed past him.

"America." He said as he walked into Americas house, leaving America staring into the air infront of his doorstep. It took a few seconds before America proceded that England had walked past him and into his house and could turn around to follow him through the small, untidy hallway. England took off his jacket and kicked his off shoes, not caring that they ended up in a pile on the floor, since Americas' house was already messy to begin with.

"What are you doing here?" America asked as he followed his former mentor, still surprised by the sight of England in his house so soon after his birthday. England snorted, glaring at him over his shoulder.

"Why? Am I not allowed to be here?" He snapped. America quickly shook his head.

"No, no! It's not like that, I'm just… _surpriced_ is all…" He said warily, watching the older nation huff and sit down on his couch, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Good." He stated before falling quiet, glaring at nothin in particular infront of him. America remained standing in the door to the livingroom and just look curiously at England where he sat. It was strange for England to visit him. The only time he did was when a meeting was being held in America and he was forced to see the nation sooner or later. America quickly searched his brain for any meeting that was going to be held at his place in the near future, and sighed relieved when he realized there was none and that England had come to visit him for another reason. England shifted uncomfortably on the couch, darting his eyes to the side.

"The telephone was broken, the E-mail was down, the mailmen were striking, the dilivery boy got lost and the dog ate your present." He rambled, not meeting Americas eyes. America gaped, confused.

"…What?" he asked after a while. England turned his face towards him, shooting him a dark glare.

"That's my excuse for missing your birthday this year." America pouted and was about to say something, but England continued talking. "It was my last excuse so now I'm out of them. I don't have any more excuses to use when I pretend to forgett your birthdays, so…" America watched dazed as England blushed lightly and averted his eyes from his own again.

He walked over to the couch and sat down beside his former mentor. He picked up the game console and resumed his game, letting the sound from gunfire and the characters fill out the silence between them. America kept glancing at England through the corners of his eyes, secretly watching him as England firmly kept his eyes on the TV. After a few minutes England cleared his troath, causing America to shift his eyes to him, forgetting all about his character being attacked on the screen.

"Happy birthday, I guess…" England mumbled before turning his head away completely, his ears turning beat red in emberassment. America stared and couldn't help when the corners of his mouth pulled into the biggest grin he'd ever worn. He quickly proceded with hugging the Englishman close, ignoring his protests of it being inappropriate and him unrespectable of personal space. He was just so happy and he didn't care if he invaded some if the Britons personal space. Although, he did let go when England started to suffocate.

England coughed and rasped after air as soon as he let go of him and America chuckled lightly as he watched him sputter beside him on the couch.

"You bloody _wanker_! Are you _trying_ to kill me?" England spat, clutching his troath tightly and glaring at the younger nation beside him. Americas wide smile and intensive eyes made England shut up and squirm uncomfortable under the Americans gaze. He felt his cheeks heat up and he jabbed Americas' shoulder.

"Stop staring! It's rude, you know." America just laughed, all too happy to actually care. He ruffled the pouting Englishmans hair affectionately, smiling down at him as he did.

"Thanks, Iggy. It really meant a lot to me that you said that. Seriously, thanks." He smiled sweetely at the smaller male who only huffed and looked away. America turned back to his game, pressing the restart button since his character died while he was concentrationg on other things and soon the sound from the game filled the room again, although this time it didn't fill an uncomfortable silence, but a comfortable one. America tried to not get distracted when he felt England rest his head against his shoulder and kept his focus on the game. After defeating a boss or two, America chuckled, causing England to give him a weird look.

"Well, _technically_… My birthday was yesterday…" England growled and hit him on the shoulder, not succeding in reducing the chuckling emitting from the American beside him.

"Shut up, git." Was all he said before going back to his previous position and promptly close his eyes, trying to fall asleep and ignore Americas' amused giggles.

"…And you don't have a dog." America added a while after his laughing had calmed down.

England kicked him between his legs and pushed him off the couch.

* * *

**Oh, my... **England sure isn't the best person to annoy, is he? xDD

I actually enjoyed writing this chapter, and once again, I'm sorry it took so long. I hope you liked this chapter and isn't too dissapointed by it. (It's quite emotionall, no? ...and maybe a little to serious for this kind of story, but oh well...) There's still more chapters to come so don't worry! The next chapter will another 'extra chapter' as the chapter before this one, in other words it will be a little different from the original "You should have a better excuse than..."-chapters. (The name of the next chapter is: Guilty for stupidity, look forwards to it!)

That's all from me for now, and if you haven't noticed, I've started a new multi-chapters fic called +anima. I think you should check it out :)

**Thank you for reading!**

**_And REVIEW if you want me to update faster! _(/O7O)/❤**

******Owari...**  



	4. Guilty for stupidity

**I'm sorry** it took so long for me to write this, but I just think it's a stupid chapter and wasn't inspired to write it at all. It's another short chapter, not really bellonging with the 'If you XXX you should have a better excuse than...' chapters :/ I'm not really satesfied with it and it's not as funny as the other chapters, but I hope it'll do.

This chapter is about stupid people saying stupid stuff when they get caught, really. All the news I'm using in this chapter occured sometime during 2008 or 2009 so they're pretty old XD

**Anyway!**

**_R&R  
&_  
_ENJOY!_**

**_

* * *

Guilty for stupidity.  
_**

* * *

America was driving safely and soundly through one of his favourite states Illinois.

He loved driving. Especially if it was through his own beautiful, marvelous and most improtantly, _awesome_ country. The good thing about his country was that he never had to go outside the boarder if he wanted to go on veccation. He could just easily jump into his stylish car and drive down to Miami, or all the way to San Fransisco or if he wanted to have a great time Hollywood, Los Angeles and Las Vegas were just the right places to go to. He was not in need of an airplane or other nations permission to go where he wanted, and that's why his country was the best.

He happilly hummed along with the lyrics in the song that played on the radio as he charged over the roads. He had rolled the windows down and the strong wind blew through his car, causing his sandy blonde hair to flutter wildly in every direction whatsoever. A broad smile was spred over his face and every now and then he would let out a little shout of excitement. Yes, he loved driving.

His singing ended along with the final tone of the song and he chuckled at his own actions before calming down a little and keeping his attention on the road ahead of him. The news flicked on on his little radio and first he thought about switching channels, but he settled for shrugging, thinking: _Ah, what the heck. I haven't listened to the new in, like, forever anyway._ And he let the woman on his radio talk and tell him about what was new.

_"A man in Kalifornia tried to commit a bank robbery, but the police was quick to come to the place and could catch him and hinder him before any great harm was done._" Read the woman.

America frowned a little, feeling ashamed of his own people but then he smiled and praised the cops for doing the good thing and being all Heroic like they should.

"_As he was dragged off towards the police station, our reporters got hold of him and asked him why he did this._"

America stopped grinning and praising his cops and listened curiously to what the man had said.

"_He defended himself with the following words:_ I only wanted to teach you a lesson. I want to work with bank security."

America raised his eyebrows. Really now?

"_His useless excuse didn't get more trusted for the fact that he was already convicted of five other bank robberies._" The woman finished with a firm voice.

America groaned and hit his head into the steeringwheel, quickly straightening up again as the car honked loudly. _That just had to be the worst excuse ever_, he thought bitterly.

"_A woman in Oregon that had stolen 200 000$ from the general university felt that she had payed back the money to the society, since most of the money were lost in state video poker machines._" The woman on the radio went on. America gave the radio a dark glare. Stupid woman, stealing money was not what American citicens were supposed to do! They were supposed to be Heros, damnit!

_"A defence attorny in Canada…_" America perked up. Oh! This new was about his brother. He smiled widely and leaned back in the chair.

"_…Whos client was charged for drunk driving…_"

_Maybe they've finally caught England_, America thought and burst out laughing as he tried to imagine the old man struggle and shout drunken words to Canada and his police force as they dragged him away from his car. It wouldn't surprise him if it _was_ England they had caught, really.

"_…Said the following in defence: 'When he's sober, my client is entirely against drunk driving._'" America chuckled and rolled his eyes. What a stupid attorny, giving away his client like that.

_"A woman in Texas who got charged for disorderly conduct after she exposed her breasts, she defended herself by saying: If I hadn't been born with breasts I would've never been charged._" America shrugged, thinking the woman had been right. It was true, she wouldn't have been charged if she had been a man.

America tried to hear what the news lady said next, but that annoying sound of syrens in the background made it hard to hear what she was saying. He forruwed his brows and leaned forward to raise the volume. It didn't work however, since the sound of sirens only got louder and louder, and was it just America, or did they sound as if they were closer too? He sweatdropped and looked through his rearview mirror and his suspicions were proved to be right. Appearently he had unknowingly incrased so much speed while driving that the cops were now hot on his heels.

He pulled over as the cop cars drove up to him and stopped as well. The cops got out of the car and gave him a stern look as they walked over to his rolled down window.

America smiled nervously up at them.

"Hello, my good sirs! Lovely day, isn't it?" He said, laughing akwardly as they eyed him judgingly.

"Yes." One of them curtly nodded and took out a writers block. "Name and age, sir?"

"Alfred F. Jones, 19." America said his human name without objections. The cop scribbled down the name and age on his paper and then he looked up at America again.

"Alfred, you do know that you were driving over the speed limit, right?" He asked, leaning on Americas car roof, making himself look even more itimidating. America stiffened in his seat.

"N-no, uhm… I wasn't paying attention actually… Hehe… Hehehe…." He laughed, rubbing his backhead apolegetic.

"Okay. How come you didn't slow down then?" The cop asked. America bit his lip. Shit, he had to come up with an excuse, and quickly!

His eyes darted off towards the houses on the side of the road and there he spotted a car workshop. An idea formed inside his head and he started to smile.

_This was difinitely going to work!_

* * *

**One day later.**

* * *

England yawned and put down his beloved cup of tea on his dining table before he pulled out the chair and sat down. He took out the newspaper for the day from underneath his arm and folded up the pages. The morning sun shone brightly through his window and he could see with mild fondness that it had rained the night before because of the dewdrops on his rosebushes just outside his windows. He smiled and put down the paper, instead turning on the raido beside the table. He took a long sip from his teacup and leaned back into his chair, listening to the news reporter sharing the information scribbled down on his papers.

At first no news were interesting and England mildly continued looking out his window on the calm neighbourhood outside. He liked living like this, in a house in a calm neighbourhood, no cars or flashing lights as in the big citys anywhere to be seen. It was just perfect.

"_Now to international news._" The news reporter continued. England took another sip from his tea, enjoying the taste that embraced his tastebuds.

"_A man in Illinois named Alfred F. Jones…_" England promtly choked on his tea and bent over in the chair and started pounding on his chest to decrase the wild coughing errupting from his troath. As he straightened up and wiped his mouth with his sleeve he gave the radio a horrified look.

"_…That got captured for driving over the speed limit told the cops the following in defence:…_" England stared with wide eyes on the radio, hoping with all of his heart that America hadn't said anything stupid.

"_'_I've just spent lots of money on repairing the braking system and didn't want it to wear it out_.' That was all for now, hope you'll have a pleasant morning-_"

England groaned loudly and let his head hit the table.

* * *

**And that was that.**

As I mentioned before, I'm not fond of this chapter _at all._  
Well, I hope you still have patience and will keep looking out for the next chapter even though this one sucked. :)

Stay with me!

**_Owari..._**


	5. the Zoo!

**I... am... so... SORRY!** This is updated really late and I'm so sorry! Waaah, please don't hate me! I've... I've just been so busy with school that I didn't have time to write _anything_** at all!** I really am sorry... Last week I was at camp with my class and I didn't bring my computer, and I'm really sorry again? (I had a wonderful time there with my friends, thankyou for asking...) So now, while I'm free from school today I finished this chapter that I started... a mont ago...? I'M SORRY! ...and even though I'm not at all happy with it

**_R&R_**

**_ENJOY~!_**

_... I'm still sorry ( "´A`)_

_

* * *

_**Bad Excuses**

**_I got lost in the Zoo!_  
**

* * *

Nations were a wonderfull thing. They all had different personalities and different tastes as well as different cultures and oppinions on things. Every single one of them was special in their own way and if you asked France he would say he'd do all of them if he could. Though, France would do _anything_ that moved. Except for Russia. He was too creepy.

One thing with nations that were fantastic was that they barely had anything in common and still got along so well *cough*, but there was something every nation had in common. And that was the excuses they made when they were late or had forgotten something.

* * *

It was a fairly normal day, except for maybe the fact that a world meeting was about to be held and those never really walked hand in hand with the word 'normal', but still. As mentioned, a meeting was about to be held and some nations had already arivved at the place in time but the meeting could not start yet, because some nations had tended to be late. Again.

Germany sighed irritated and tapped his finger againt the table surface, resting his head in his other hand as he did so. Next to him sat Italy, smiling and talking about some random subject, not even noticing that neither Germany nor Japan that sat on each of his sides listened to him. Okay, maybe Japan veaguly listened but that was just because he was trying to be polite.

Germany took a glance around the room and the two first persons he noticed were missing were the two that came late most often, namely England and his little annoying ex-colony America. Germany scrunched his nose as he remebered the excuses those two would come up with whenever they tumbled into the meeting room too late.

* * *

"So…" Germany cleared his troath and looked around the room filled with familiar faces all staring back at him with mild interest. "I guess, now that most of us are here and more probably wont show up, that we can now start the world meeting about-" He was cut off by the door slamming open and he grunted irritated before turning his gaze towards the person in the doorway much like everyone else. There, in front of the door, stood England a bit red in the face and panting. He coughed and straightened his suit a little before straightening up again and looking over the curious faces of all the nations.

"I deeply apolegize for being late," England said politely and Germany scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I cycled over a hedgehog on my way here and got a flat tire." There were sounds of chuckling and some choking on stuff after England had said this among the crowded room and Germany massaged his head wondering what he had done to be punished with all this.

"_Mon ami_, if you overslept because you were busy in _la Ameriques_ house the night before, just say so, _bon?_ It's hardly good to make up silly excuses to cover up the wonderfull that is _amour~_" The romantic country, France, purred, a perverted smile covering his face. England spluttered and shot him a dark look.

"Please spare the rest of us your perverted imaginations, _frog_, and besides I am speaking the truth! I did cycle over a hedgehog!" England said stubbornly. People rolled their eyes along with Frane after this.

"_Oui, oui,_ whatever you say _petit lapin._" He said, sounding not at all as if he trusted England. England just growled and pointed his breifcase towards the older nation, shaking it threatingly.

"Don't make me come over there!" France just let out a bubbling laugh, obviously enjoying his daily brawl with his cute little frere.

"Oooh, scary~! Don't hurt me you big _dangereuses_ ex-pirate-punk empire~!" He cooed, faking fear as he hid behind his amrs. Other nations uncertainly moved away from both nations, shooting worried looks towards England who wore a slightly terrifying smirk as he dangerously moved closer towards France, breifcase high in the air.

"Ah… Speaking of America-san…" Japan cut the two nations off before they even had started the fight. "Where is he?"

"Why, he is resting up at Englands place after a wonderful night of _amour~_" France laughed and England glared disgusted at him.

"You dirty-!" But he wasn't able to finish the sentence as the door to the meeting room flew open once again and America stroode in, wide smile plastered across his face.

"Good morning everyone!" He beamed and most nations groaned in the precense of the overenergetic American. England scowled towards the loud idiot and France smiled widely, watching Americas gaze flow over the room. "How is everyone today? Bright and cheerfull I hope!" He laughed.

"Don't storm in like that and act as if you're not late, git!" England scolded, forgetting all about the perverted frog now checking out his butt behind him. "Apolegize for being late, I did teach you better manners than this." France pulled his eyes away from the tempting ass in front of his chair and rolled them instead.

"I think _Amerique_ is taking after you excellently, _mons anglais._" He said and some nations chuckled. England punched France without letting his eyes off America who looked stupid and offended by Englands scolding.

"I am not late!" He said stubbornly and crossed his arms. England, unconsciously wrestling with France, holding him in a death grip and trying to strangle him gave him a confused and irritated look.

"Yes, young man, you are fairly-" But America cut him off.

"Everyone else's just early." He said and pouted. England kicked France once the Frenchman broke free from his stranglation and straddled him on the ground under protests of said male, the scary thing was that he did this without paying the least attention to the frog at all.

"That's not even a decent excuse, git! You schould –IAAAHGAH!" His strict tone evolved into a scream when France pervertedly pinched his ass and instead he proceeded with beating the crap out of the frog. America watched with mild interest, laughing at the older nations insults and amazed by the fact that the two old men could be so full off energy. China stood beside Russia looking tired while Russia just smiled hapilly.

"Not going to stop them?" China asked with slightest of hope in his voice.

"_Nyet."_ Russia answered mildly as he kept watching the three with a smile. "I think it's funny to watch them tear each other appart, but I see no point since they all will be one with Russia soon anyway." China shuddered and asked no more. The rest of the nations sat in their seets and thought that they were wasting their time with this group of idiots.

Germany sighed and sat down, accepting that this meeting would not lead to any smart decisions today. They never did, anyway.

* * *

Germany cast a look around the room. G8 meetings weren't his favourites to be exact and he sighed and gathered his papers on the table in front of him.

"Okay, is everyone here?" He asked almost boringly. How come he was the one that had to check these things every time there's a meeting somewhere?

"_Oui,_ the country _de l'amour, France, est ici!_ I have decided to please _tu_ with _Mon_ _beauté!_"

"Hahaha! All that matters is that I, the hero, am here!"

"I am here to make everyone one with me, da?"

"I'm here! I'm here! Germany! I'm here!"

"I am here as well."

"I… I'm here…"

"Who?"

"Canada…"

"Who's that…?"

"Someones that's one with me, da?"

"Shut up you commie bastard. No one wants to be one with you and as long as I, the hero, is here, I will save everyone from dangerous Russian communists!"

"Sometimes I want to beat you with my pipe, that's fine, right?"

"Hahaha!"

"Uhuhu!"

"_Mon dieu!_ Don't run around with pipes in your hand! You could stab someone!"

"I agree with France."

"Ve~ Germany, what do we do?" Italy turned towards his friend as Russia chased after America through the room with pipe in hand, both of them laughing irionicly. They accedentily ran over France who screamed when he was crushed under the two largest countries. Germany sighed.

"Everyone! Calm down!" At his outburst, America and Russia stopped trying to wrestle and kill each other, France continued moaning from the floor in french, Japan looked unfaced and Canada sat there and was invisible as usual. "Thank you." Germany said and cleared his troath. Seriously, sometimes it felt as if he was taking care of small children on a daycare. "I believe America was the first one to speak, was it not?"

"Of course!" America beamed and stepped foreward. "The hero always speaks first!" Germany rolled his eyes but let America take his place at the podium. America picked up his bag and was about to take out his papers when Japan spoke up.

"Wait a minute… that was only seven people…" He said thoughtfully.

"Hahaha!" America laughed. "Someone's missing!" Canada rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, moron…" He mumbled but no one heard him anyway.

"Is it not our _Anglenterre_ that has not graced us with his precense yet, _oui_?" France had somehow succesfully crawled back into his chair.

"Hahaha! The old man probably fell and broke his leg on his way over here! I'm going to go save him!" America stated heroicly and started to make his way towards the door. The door, however, was slammed in his face as England groggily stumbled in in a not so gracefull manner, tripping ever so lightly over Americas body before straightening up and looking confused as to why America was lying on the floor.

"Bloody hell… What are you up to, you idiot?" He asked and rubbed his eyes. America was about to say something but instead coughed as England walked over his stomach and made his way to his seat, slumping down in it and resting against the table.

"_Sacrebleau, mon ami_." France said when England sat down next to him. "You look tired." A groan was his greeting back.

"England." Germany said as America sourly climbed back up from his place on the floor. "It's not very kind to come into this meeting and interupting Americas speech."

"Yeah!" America chided irritated, poking Englands head. "You interrupted me, old man! Why're you late anyway, huh? Aint you supposed to be the prim and proper one here?"

"I agree with America." Japan said offhandely. England slapped Americas' hand away and glared at him tiredly.

"The rooster forgott to set the alarm clock, so I awoke late, thankyou very much." America crossed his arms and would have said something dumb, since everything he said was dumb, but Germany waved him off.

"If you say so, now America would you _please _continue with the meeting?" America glared at England but made his way back to the podium.

"So, anyway… As I was going to do before I was interrupted *glare towards England* I will now hold my speech about…" Everyone waited, but America remained silent. "Oh… well, crap." He mumbled. Everyone stared weirdly at him and Germany sighed irritated.

"What _is it_, America?" He asked the now sheepishly smiling nation.

"Well, you see… I forgott to mention that I don't have any papers with me today, because like it or not my dog ate them." Insert facepaml for seven other countries here.

* * *

"Hello fellow comrades!" America shouted as he stormed into the meetingroom, once again, late. Really, the other nations should be used to it as of now, considering he was _always_ late. Always. But they weren't and most of them groaned irritated as America shut the door behind him. "How is everyone this beautiful morning?" Groaning and growling was his response and his smile widened. "Sounds lovely! Now I, the Hero, will tell you all exactly why you're here and what we're going to discuss-"

"America." Germany growled, gaining the attention from the west nation. "You are late. This is not your meeting, meaning you are not the one to tell what we're going to discuss today. Again, you are _late_ and please take a seat and shut up." America pouted.

"Hey… This should totally be my meeting, but I guess you're right when you say it isn't, because mine would be so much more Awesome than this." A vein popped in Germanys head.

"…Would you mind sharing _why_ you are late?" At this America stopped pouting and his face lit up into a wide grin.

"Oh! Well, you see, I played hide and seek with my goldfish-"

"Thankyou!" Germany shouted before America had even finished his story.

* * *

A nation arriving late was nothing unusual on meetings the world held. A nation arriving late on a motorcycle was, however.

England skidded his bike to a halt just before it colided with the meeting table, scaring the shit out of the poor Italian twins that sat just at that end of it. The motor rumbled loudly as England jumped off it and pulled out the key form the keyhole. The wheels had left two awefull brake marks on the floor and Germany sighed tired, because he knew he was the only one who would clean it up afterwards. England took off his helmet and let his long, blonde, shiny hair fall out, shaking his head and causing those beautiful locks to fly around his head in slowmotion… Okay, no. He took off his helmet and shook his spiky hair as if shaking off the adrenaline in his body after the wild tour.

"Sorry I'm late!" He announced to the nations watching him in horrification. "I had a semantic discussion with a Zebra abot the saying 'Stripes never gets worn out.' So I apolegize." No one believed him. What a surprice! Instead Germany pointed behind England, geasturing for him to turn around and look himself.

"Uhm… England, you kind off… run over America." England spun his head around only to stare at Americas crushed, twitching body on the floor behind him.

"Oh my god!" England said surprised. "I am sorry?" Germany sighed and rested his head on the table. This was going to be another long, ass-boring meetings. He could just feel it.

* * *

Another thing that wasn't usual with arriving late to a meeting was a nation arriving late with bandages and crutches.

Everyone stared at America as he staggered into the meetingroom. France and England stopped pulling each other's hair and gave him disbeliefing looks. America skipped over to his seat and sank down with a relieved sigh.

"Uh… _Amerique?_ What… uh…" France tried to form a sentence. Luckily England did it for him.

"What the hell happened to you, America?" He asked, crunching his nose. America looked up at them with a tired look.

"There was a runaway Rhinoceros on the highway…" He mumbled and the whole room fell silent.

Except for Russia, whom was laughing.

* * *

So, there Germany sat, another day at another meeting, waiting for the missing nations to arrive. It had passed more than half an hour already! Finally, after what seemed like forever, the doors opened and the nations who bothered to get there in time turned towards it as Spain sneaked inside. When he noticed all eyes were on him he blushed and rubbed his backhead, a silly smile overtaking his lips.

"Uh… ah… My Dromedary got an inferiority complex when the neighbour bought a Camel… So, uh… I had to, you know, take care of her…" He said nervously. Egypt rolled his eyes. It wasn't his fault he had needed a camel. Germany just sighed and shook his head.

"Just… sit down please." Spain hapilly oblidged and sat down next to a pissed Italian who gave him the evil eye. Five minutes later Greece stumbled inside. What surpriced everyone was that he had even bothered to wake up and drag his ass over here, not that he had arrived late.

"Sorry… 'm late…" Greece mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "… In the dark… al cats 're… gray… took a while b'fore I found… my own…"

"Ah… we see…" Germany sweatdropped. "Please just take a seat." Ten minutes later France came sluntering in. He looked depressed and tired and when Germany and the other countries gave him a questioning look he just shook his head.

"The hamster died and my daughter demanded a funeral of honor…" Everyone nodded in pity, trying to imagine Syechelles reaction to when she found her hamster dead.

"Well, may it rest in peace." Germany said as France depressed took a seat. A few seconds after France had sat down Australia walked inside the room, head high and confidence in his steps. If you looked at him you wouldn't be able to tell he had done omething wrong. Like, being late for example. When he noticed everyone staring at him he stared doumbly back.

"What?" He asked mildly surpriced for the attention. Germany veaguly wondered if all Englands colonies had grown up stupid or something.

"Why are you late, Australia?" Germany asked through clenched teeth. He was tired of this! Give him a break already!

"Daaaauuuhhh…" Australia gaped doumbly. Then, as if saying the obvious, he put his hands on his hips and gave Germany a weird look. "I was taking care of a hurt mosquito of course!" Germany sighed.

"Take a seat…" He mumbled and Australia shrugged and jumped over to where New Zealand lay asleep. Half an hour later the two nations that were famous for always getting late stormed inside the meeting room. Everyones heads turned from Poland, that were having a speech about something frilly and pink, to America and England that both righted their ties and costumes, cheeks flushed.

"Sorry we're late!" Both nations shouted at the same time then they shot each other nasty glares. Everyone raised an eyebrow.

"I, uh…" America straightened up, trying to tame his hair while glaring at England. "Was trying to tame a _wild boar_…" His eyes burned holes in Englands skull and everyone got the hint that, oh okay… they had been fighting and therefor they arrived late. Germany growled frustrated.

"America, I don't care! Sit down before I'll have Russia force you." America pouted but sat down nontheless. England was about to do the same but Germany stopped him. "Oh no! England. Why don't you share your reason to why you're late, hm? We all want to hear your silly excuse this time, don't we?" Germany asked glaring at the other nations who all nodded while they thought that: no… not really. England glared at Germany and then at America.

"Oh, I am sorry, but the Chimpanzee refused to stop acting like a monkey." He pointed at America who gasped offended before he attacked England and had an all out brawl with him. France started crying and Germany started shouting and throwing furnitures everywhere. Italy named himself king of the world and forced Turkey to eat a lot of pasta. Japan sat quietly in his chair, watching how the world came to an end.

"… Was it just me or did all those excuses involve animals…?"

* * *

**Why yes, Japan, all the excuses have animals in them, that is the reason this retarded chapter is called 'I got lost in the Zoo!'**

*sigh*

Again, I am sorry for my useless-ness and I promise I will try to update sooner rather than later in the future and I will also try to get around school so that I can spend more time writing this fanfic.

You know what I've figured out?  
_This fanfic is hopefully going to be 19 chapters long... **19!**_ ... I have a long way to go...

**Thank you for reading! And please stick with me throughout this whole fic! Reviews make me feel less worthless!**

**_Owari..._**


	6. I'm not borrowing you my car!

**Hiiiiii! **I am _FINALLY_ back with another chapter of this story! Holy christs it's been MONTHS! I am _sooo_ sorry I'm such an unresposible author, but it was school and all that jazz going on so I just didn't have time to write this. I started at it weeks ago but got around to finish it this week. Ah, I can't believe tomorrows christmas! Wai~! Anyway, *cough*, This chapter is about America and England destroying cars and their silly excuses for it. Or rather... it's about America destroying _Englands_ cars. Over and over again... heh, yeah, well,

**Please _enjoy_ the chapter and the fact that I'm back!** (wooo! All hail the almighty Christmas Vecation!)

**Don't forget to read and review ;)**

* * *

**_When You've destroyed someones car you schould have a better excuse than..._**

* * *

"Hey Iggy Piggy!" America shouted and skipped down the corridor to walk by the grumpy, old Brit who shot him a dirty look.

"Nice nickname you got me there, fatty." England spat back and America beamed proudly.

"I know, rite?" England raised his breifcase to slap the American who yelped terrified and jumped out of the way just in time. Unlucky for him that there was a wall just there. England pointed and laughed at him after he so gracefully had jumped face first into the wall.

"Anyway," America said, rubbing his sore nose while pouting. England continued to snicker. "I wanted to ask you for a favour…"

"Hm, go on, lad." England said suspiciously eyeing him from the side.

"Can I borr-"

"No." America blinked slowly and then frowned lightly. England just crossed his arms.

"But I didn't-"

"I know."

"… So can I-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Will you liste-"

"No."

"Ig-"

"No."

"Sto-"

"No."

"…"

"…"

"Can I talk no-"

"No."

"Stoooooooop!" America screamed frustrated and stomped his foot onto the ground. England simply scowled at him. "Stop interupting me! And listen!"

"I already know what you want to say, fatty, and I said no!" England shot back and America pouted.

"But why not? It's only a car, for christs sake!" England twitched irritably.

"Do you…" He started, walking closer to the blonde idiot who took a step back because of the look England was giving him. "Recall what happened last time I let _you_. Borrow. My. Car?" America gulped nervously, but smiled nontheless.

"Eeeeeerh-" He started but England interupted him.

"Let me remind you! You drove in on the driveway…"

* * *

_England stood gaping as he watched the remains of his car… his car!... roll in to the driveway. Once the motor was shut off, a certain loud-mouthed American jumped out from the drivers seat and England watched him unamused, and perhaps he was a little shocked, too. He gaped like a goldfish, opening and closening his mouth rapidly, not comprehending that the squished veciele was his, well, used to be his lovely car. He quickly turned his burning glare toward the culprit of the whole mess. America chuckled nervously and rubbed his backhead._

"_Uh… Well…" Both stared at each other in silence. "At least now your car doesn't look like everyone elses!" He beamed happilly and gave England the thumbs up. England fainted and later, when he woke up, he made the fae haunt Americas house at night.

* * *

_

"Oh, come on, Iggy!" America sighed and rolled his eyes, his arms now crossed over his chest. "That was just once!" England fumed.

"Oh yeah? OH YEAH?" He shrieked, his voice raising in scale. "What about that time…"

* * *

"_America! You're driving on the wrong side of the road!" A quite stressed Englishman said to his American friend who only smiled stupidly at him._

"_What are you talking about, this is how I drive back at my place." England tried to grab the steeringwheel, but America was skillfully driving with one hand and pushing him away with the other._

"_You git! This is Wales!"_

"_What re you talking about? I don't see any whales!" America didn't see the honking car, but England did._

"_Americ-"_

"_-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" They both screamed in unison as they were hit and the car started spinning 'round and 'round and off the road. To finish it all off, it slammed against a tree. They sat silent for a while, huffing and staring wide eyed straight ahead. England composed himself first and grabbed at his hair._

"_Oh my god! My car!" He shrieked horrified. Beside him America snorted._

"_Yes, I am fine, thank you for caring, old man." He said sarcasticly._

"_You destroyed my car!"_

"_It's not my fault you drive on the wrong side of the road!"_

"_I'm going to kill you!" England launged himself towards America who easily held him at distance._

"_Whow! Whow! W-well, see it from the bright side!" He said nervously and gave a shaky smile._

"_There is no bright side with this, you mother f-!"_

"_Language! Language! America screamed. "And yes, there totally is." Two large eyebrows rose. "Now you can fit both the car _and_ the boat into the garage-" And then his used-to-be father figure promptly choked him.

* * *

_

"I said it back then, and I'll say it again! You just drive on the wrong side of the road!"

"We do not!" England shouted back and they stared at each other in a childishly stubborn way. After a while America gave in and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so I have destroyed your car _twice,_ but that doesn't mean I will do it again!"

"Oh, hahaha, America." England gave him a sharp glare. "Only _two_ times? I did teach you to count, did I not?"

"What are you talking about?" America said, blushing a little uneasely.

"You have destroyed my car more times than two, you bloody git!" England shouted and pointed an accusing finger towards his old charge. America slapped his hand away.

"I have not!"

"Oh yeah? What about that time…"

* * *

_England stared at his squished veceile. It was… how could it be…? How was it…? How could that…? How the fuck did that happen? It looked as if it had run straight into a brickwall and at the same time another car had run into the back of it. It was totally squished!_

"_Well… Oups." America said sheepishly, rubbing his golden hair. "Well… It just got easier to park between two cars!" he beamed hapilly. "Isn't that right, Iggy-IEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed terrified as said veciele was flung towards him.

* * *

_

"Hey!" America frowned. "I remember that. I had to lie in a hospital for one whole week because of you throwing that thing on me!"

"That _thing_ used to be my car before I lent it to you!" England fumed and America sighed.

"Still…" He mumbled. "Okay, so that was three times-"

"I'm not done!" England interupted him and America looked thrown off. "Then there was that time…"

* * *

"_Why, America, WHY?"_

"_I said I'm sorry! But it's not my fault that that guy thought he could fight me over that parking space! I totally shoudn't be blamed for this! Besides, it's just a scratch."_

"_Scratch my arse! (no, thank you, America said.) It's a fucking hole right there!"_

"_Pff, you're exegerating-"_

"_I so am not! Fuck! I can't believe I keep lending you my car whenever you visit! Never again, you hear me? Never again!"_

"_Oh, come on Iggy! At least you don't have to worry someone would want to steal it now!"_

"_Oh… In that case, thank you for your considiration my dear friend."_

"…_Really…?"_

"_Yes, I am forever gratefull to you."_

"_Heh… Well, whatever you say Iggy! Hahaha!"_

"…"

"_You sure you forgive me…?"_

"_No! I am going to kill you!"_

"_AAAAAH! NOOOOO! Bad Iggy, bad! Get off, get off!"_

"_I am going to shave you bald!"_

"_NOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

_

"… I'm glad you didn't." America said and patted his hair fondly.

"Don't be so sure. I am just waiting for the opportunity." Americas' eyes grew big as plates and he backed away suspiciously, shielding his head.

"Don't come closer, you!" He shouted and England proceded to roll his eyes before resuming to glare at the American. "Besides, that was only four times. Come on, I bet you've destroyed more cars on your own during your life time."

"That is besides the point." America stared doumbly at him.

"And the point is…?"

"You can't borrow my car." England said, leaving no room for argument.

"But Iggy!"

"I said no, already!" America frowned childishly.

"Come on, dude! It's just a car. And you know me, I don't repeat my mistakes over and over."

"Yet you have destroyed my car, what? 4-5 times? Don't repeat mistakes, right." England scoffed.

"Uh… But every time I accidentily destroyed your car it wasn't as if I destroyed it by doing the same mistaked over and over, right? See? There's my point."

"Oh, wait. Please leave a space for me to laugh here. Haha. America, do you seriously think I will lend you my car?"

"I was… hoping?" America tried to smile sweetly at England who didn't buy his act.

"No."

"I'm not getting anywhere with you."

"That's because you're stupid."

"You're old." America shot back.

"Fuck you."

"Eat my socks."

"Denied."

"AAAAARGH!" America shouted frustrated and threw the breifcase he was holding through the corridor. China screamed when it hit him in the head. America and England stared at the blood that oozed out from the Chinese mans head where he lay. Korea stuck his head out from behind the corner.

"Murder originated in Korea…" He whispered before slowly sliding back away from view. America and England stood in silence.

"Where was I…" America said pondering. "Oh! Right! As I was saying, AAAAAAARGH!" He stomped his foot angrily on the floor pretending as if Chinas death hadn't happened in the first place. "Just let me borrow you car damn it!"

"No! Why won't you get it? I will never borrow you my car ever again! EVER!" England shouted right back, also ignoring the corpse on the other side of the corridor.

"If you don't let me borrow it, how will you know I'm going to destroy it again, huh?"

"Oh, I know alright. I know because you have destroyed it more than only 4 times."

"I have not!"

"No? Let me remind you of all those times then!"

_America and England stood analyzing the car in front of them in silence. It was old, but charming, and England had succeded in keeping it intact for couple of years now. And then America had borrowed it, and BAM! No longer he had a car._

"…_I still don't see the problem here, Iggy." America broke the silence, pouting because he was cold and England had forced him outside to look at something._

"_Look closer." England answered calmly, too calmly, and pointed at the car. America fidgeted nervously._

"_Is something, erh… missing?" He tried smiling, but it looked like a grimace. Before them the car was missing both doors on the left side and the lack was scraped horribly._

"_Half the car is missing Alfred." Suddenly Alfred felt very uncomfortable standing close to his old mentor._

"_Well… at least the grate along the doorframes isn't visible anymore." England slowly turned to him._

"_This is Victoria Royalmother with breaking news! We recently got a report from the local police station that they have captured an American rebell! Appearently it started with them getting a report from an English citicen that two people were disturbing her sleep with their screaming and fighting outside. When the police arrived to the scene they tried to calm the angried Brittish gentleman who was busy strangling an American youngster, but after getting the story from the older of the two, the police gave the Brittish man a helping hand and now, after about 3 hours, they have succesfully captured the American and put him behind locks! London is once again safe thanks to the police! That was all, I am your reporter, Victoria Royalmother, and I wish you a pleasant evening."

* * *

_

"The Brittish prison…" America said thoughtfully then shivered. "Worst time in my life ever."

"You're just mad you were totally bitched by the prisoners."

"S-s-shut up! I was not-!" America started shouting emberassed. He was totally too Heroic to become someones bitch.

"You shut up." England snapped back. "I was not done!"

* * *

"_Yoooo! Iggy!" Englad heard the American shout from the outside, his yell fallowed by a car door slamming shut. "I'm hoooome!" England quickly got to his feet and dashed out the door where he was greeted by the sight of a grinning American and his car. America was smiling cheerfully at him, leaning on the car with his elbow gracefully drapped over the roof of the small yellow model. Heroicly handsome as ever, and England had never laid eyes upon such beauty and awesomeness…

* * *

_

"Stop cutting into my story you bastard!" England slapped America over the head.

"I'm just telling everyone the truth!" America pouted and crossed his arms. England growled but decided to continue.

* * *

_America was smiling that awefull smile of his. The 'I-have-done-something-wrong-so-I'm-going-to-try-seduce-you-into-forgiving-me'- smile. Ah, yeah… And the car… The cars' front was squished, causing it to look like a pigs' nose. England felt his mood go from nevous to horrified to enraged in three seconds. America was oblivious to the change of mood._

"_Hey you!" He made a mock salute. "Here to greet me with kisses and words that describe my awesomeness-"_

"_America, what happened to my car…?" England growled between teeth. America laughed._

"_Ahaha! Oh, that? Well, you see, as a good friend I just wanted to make sure you were driving around in a safe car model." He shot him the famous thumbs up. Then after some thought he added, "Yeah… erh, you weren't. I think I broke a rib when I crashed." Att hose words England flew down the stairs and threw himself in Americas waiting arms. They spun 'round and 'round and laughed together, looking like a typicall scene out of one of Americas movies when the Hero returned to the Heroine.

* * *

_

"Stop. Changing. The. Story!" England shouted as he choked the American between his hands.

"Hack-! I can't –Ckh!- help I'm making it *cough* better!" Finally England let America go and studied him with a weird look.

"You keep turning it into some kind of love story! Why? Are you desperate or something?" Americas face lit on fire and he looked at anywhere but England.

"Pssh! As if!" He said stubbornly. England rolled his eyes.

"Anyway…"

* * *

_At those words England flew down the stairs and threw himself into America, clinging onto him while the other shouted terrified and tried to pry the smaller man off of his back. England bit Americas ear and America screamed like a little girl and then all hell broke loose. _

…_Let's just say Englands neighbours didn't appriciate the noice and forced him to eventually move. Well, at least he had forced America to carry all his furniture to his new house. Served him right!

* * *

_

"I totally have a scar on my ear after that!" America said almost proudly, like he considered it one of his battle scars.

"Really now?" England lifted one of his eyebrows amusedly.

"Yeah, check it!" America removed his bangs and true to his words, a bite mark was still visible on his left ear. Suddenly Canada appeared out of nowhere.

"Letting England mark you… _so_ gay, bro." He said as he strode past them and England and America were left frozen on their spots. Komimomija, or what's-his-name, came shuffling after his owner.

"Burned." It said and left the two staring at each other in the same poses they had been standing in before Canada had appeared.

"And then there was that time…" England continued, ignoring the crying American in the corner.

* * *

_CRASH-BOOM-BANG! England fell out of his bed._

"_Fucketi fuck-fuck-fuck!" He cursed and wrestled his sheets to get free. He stumbled down the stairs and run out into the night in only his Union-Jack boxers. The bricked wall that seperated his garden from his neighbour was smoking and crumbling a little. A car door, some struggling noises, a slam and coughing came from inside the smoke. Soon America stumbled out while coughing in his hand but all England could stare at was what used to be his car, erh, well the rest of it anyway. America noticed him and casually strolled over to his side. Joining him in staring at the rest of the car, America huffed and let a hand brush through his hair, smearing the blood in his forehead as he did._

"_Tuff shit, man. Tuff shit." He said and patted Englands shoulder. Texas was shattered and dingling comicly from his nose and ear. "At least I didn't hit your wife, amirite?" He said and laughed before strolling inside Englands house while singing drunkenly to himself.

* * *

_

"I swear to God, America, your excuses are the worst!" England concluded angrily. Beside him America licked his lips absently.

"I don't think they're that bad…"

"No? Well, there were a few more alike occasions as the ones I've already mentioned and they went a little like this.

* * *

_Out of the crashed car jumped America, looking ready to defend himself._

"_At least I didn't crash the Jaguar you've dreamt of getting!" He shouted defencively.

* * *

_

_America stumbled out of what was left of Englands' car._

"_I drove without thinking of my own safety just so that I could hand the car back in time!"

* * *

_

"_Yanno, there was a typo in the manual on page 49, so I don't think I alone should be blamed for this small accident." America said to the police dressed England, standing in front of the four cars that had crashed because of him.

* * *

_

"Okay so I've crashed your car…" America counted on his fingers. "Three ti-"

"Ten." England cut in with a cold tone.

"Fine, Mr. _Exact_. _Ten_ times. Come on, that's nothing!" America gestured with his arms in the air.

"It doesn't matter what you say, you're _not_ going to borrow my car today." England said with a final tone and crossed his arms. America glared at him.

"Well… Fine, be that way!" He said stubbronly. "You… _jerk_…" He mumbled. "You… _stupid _jerk… You _stupid_, Brittish, _unable-to-cook-anything_ jerk… you _stupid _Brittish, _unable-to-cook-anything_, ignoarant, _selfish_-"

"I'm still not lending you my car." England deadpanned, looking unimpressed by Americas' way of insulting him. America laughed.

"Hahaha~... Go to hell, England." he said smiling sweetly. England repeated himself.

"I won't borrow you my car." America shrugged.

"Well, that's too bad then. I think I'm just gonna go on ahead to your car, since I already bothered to steal your keys and everything, and instead of lending it, I will steal it." England looked absolutely horrified.

"You wouldn't…" America smiled at him.

"I was going to anyway, I just asked to be nice, yanno?" He grinned and waved with his hand. "Bye England~!" He shouted as he ran down the corridor towards the garage. England laughed as he watched him go.

"Hahaha~… America you jerk!"

"Hahaha~!" America laughed and disappeared.

Much to Englands' dismay, when he reached the garage after chasing after America, he was greated by his crashed car and a few worried nations. He walked over to the drivers' seat of his car and glared at America who just stared straight ahead.

"…The way you drive it would've happened sooner or later." He said indiffirently and shrugged. Worst excuse ever to say to an angered Brittish man whoms car you has already destroyed ten times.

* * *

Englands' car had been crashed again, but to his surprice it wasn't America who jumped out of it, but Prussia.

"Yah, sorry 'bout that. I was just too awesome for your car to handle."

* * *

** Yeah, I apolegize once again for my lateness with this y'all.** And for any grammar fails, at the moment I'm just too lazy to look through this and righten them, so... erh, yah :D

_I think I'm loosing my humour... I dunno, lol, I just can't seem to find any of this funny. Except for the Canada part. Canade rules. I've been on a HUGE writers block recently (still on it) and whenever I try to get around to write anything I just get stuck. The insperation has flown out the window with all of my stories and it scares me, to be honest D: Anything I force myself to write really feels forced and it just doesn't flow... Urgh, well let's hope I get out of it due to next year at least, huhu..._

Oh! And I promise to submitt next chapter later today as well! Consider it a christmas gift :D tehe!

**Anyway, I hope you ejoyed reading and I hope you haven't lost faith in this story or in me, because I have so much to give!**

**I hope you enjoyed and please leave a review on your thoughts about the chapter!**

**_Owari..._**

_PS._

_I just counted the amouth of possible chapters, and I know I've told you there was going to be 19, but boy!  
Did I count wrong! There's only going to be about 14 chapters, if not less, so erh... yeah, sorry to disapoint  
you but that's the truth. I guess that is the reason I only have an OK grade in math and nothing fancy, hehe.  
_


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